Please read Philippians 2, the great hymn of servanthood shared by the apostle Paul. Our preacher of the day was Beverly Hovenkamp, whose 20 years of ordained ministry we celebrated today. Beverly invited us to embrace humility, our gifts and limitations in our respective lives and ministies; and she challenged us to reach beyond ourselves as a congregation. During one part of her sermon, Beverly mentioned the empowering work of women theologians who recognize that too often women are the ones called on to submit.
I am wondering if this is not a good week to ask a question regarding gender in our culture. What challenges do women in particular face in home, work, and community? What role does humility play for them? I will not pretend to have an answer.
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I wish I hadn’t missed Beverly’s sermon. I don’t know her that well but she came into a place where I was volunteering maybe eight years ago. We had a very nice conversation and she cares so much about the people in our community and beyond who get overlooked and underestimated that I’ll bet she preached a good one.
ReplyDeleteWhy did I miss? Because I drove my Mom 500 miles to her family’s summer cottage. Why on Sunday? So I could sit with my granddaughters on Saturday night. Mom and Gracie and Gabby and I “reading” books on the sofa. Sally and Chad on a needed a respite trip to the movies. Why didn’t I go to Postville? Because Sally and the girls needed me more that day, too.
All day Sunday, me driving her strut-less 1994 Escort that she can’t take over 40 or so, Mom and I were talking history and future. 8 precious hours collected. Stories I’ve heard before, and a few that had a different meaning for me than they did 10 or 20 years ago when I last heard them.
Gary and Riley alone for the week—I check them every day. A few concerns---they couldn’t find each other walking on Court St.(?) Riley’s lunch money ran out. Gary couldn’t download one of Riley’s missing assignments. When they call, they call at 3:30, 3:31, 3:33, 3:34 etc.
Keeping these people connected and safe is my job. My for-pay job is similar. Holding things together, keeping people involved.
But here is a woman’s secret: we know God made us special, because he understands the needs we fulfill. So when we are servants to our parents, spouses, children, patients and the beggar on the street, we value them for what they are, even though we expect that gratitude and understanding will never be returned.
Intellectually women have reached a degree of equity, if not in position or reward. And there is injustice in this, but many of us choose different battles. This is funny, but when I am winning in Des Moines or having an especially good day double timing and multi-tasking, I catch myself singing, “I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan…”
As a woman I am blessed, not oppressed, because I was born with a woman’s capacity to love and serve. I think humility is easier for women than for men, and for this we are also blessed. But a life of service is not a life of slavery, and too many women are slaves because they are women. Beaten, raped, butchered. Forbidden to learn, denied that capacity to serve family and others with free will and creative thought. Worst of all, never understanding love.
As a woman, changing life for these girls and women, here in America and around the world, must be a part of my service, for and with God. Jane Cranston covered her head and faced danger to do just this. Maybe someday I will to do something that great.
Or maybe I will once again be a compassionate presence, an easer of pain, for the breast cancer patient who in denial covered her ulcerating breast wound with wash clothes while she “brought home the bacon” for her fatherless children. A waitress—a servant—keeping her family together through the ultimate sacrifice. In her death she gave her children social security and health care. I wept at her passing but make no mistake she died with the dignity of a woman who loved her family and God with her entire being. I understand her, and am grateful for knowing her. For her I say, Amen.
Sarah I enjoyed reading your post! I had a recent email from a couple I call some of my "Social Justice buddies".... I found their words powerful too.
ReplyDelete"Because of our faith – in God, in each other, in our friends, in our neighbors and in humanity – we believe we can continue to make a difference. Our lives are committed to serving others. And serving is different than simply helping or fixing. When you only help, you see life as weak. When you only fix, you see life as broken. When you serve, you see life as whole. When we help or fix, we are aware of our own strength. But when we serve, we don’t serve with our strength; we serve with our whole self and draw from all our experiences. Gandhi said, “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” ~ Ed and Lynn Fallon
As a wife, mother of a young child and full time employee, I find myself always running to catch up with everything. In our society women are expected to fill many rolls as caretaker, nurturer and provider in their families and throughout the community. I find myself frustrated at times that these expectations can be unrealistic at times and can leave me feeling drained and without time for my own needs. I find that I am often giving so much of myself that when I do have a "spare moment" I struggle to do something just for me and not about others. Don't get me wrong I love my family and my job but it is hard to live on the pedestal society places women in today's world. Being a mother, wife and employee is wonderful and exhausting. I treasure the time I spend with my family and I enjoy my contributions through my job. However, I sometimes have wished for a simpler life for myself and my family.
ReplyDeleteI realize that staying at home and not working is not the answer as it has its own unique set of challenges. I once poured my heart out to my father about wanting to stay at home but not being able to afford to do so because without my job we would not have the insurance and income needs to provide the life we need for our family. My mother was a stay at home mother to me for 4 years and I guess I wanted to have that life like she did to devote to my child and to our family life. I felt saddened by my inability to find a way to make it work for me to stay home.
What my father told me gave me a new perspective. He said that although it had worked out for my mom to stay home when my sister and I were little it was not without many hardships and worry on their part. They worried about putting enough food on the table and about having enough money for all our everyday needs. My mother had to return to work sooner than planned because money was getting to tight. The cost of living and their expenses were much less than the ones I face in my family. My father told me that being a stay at home mother was not necessarily what was best for my family if we would struggle in order to obtain this goal. I began to view this in a different way after this conversation. What I began to realize was that I was providing a service to my family by working in society as well as at home. I am able to provide service to others through my work and that provides me with needed insurance and income to meet the needs of my family.
Sometimes I have to force myself to take a break as I have learned that this gives me the renewed energy to do my best service to others. An important thing I have learned is that if we provide service to others without regard to the best way to achieve the goal it may not be possible to achieve the best service.